Geneology & Geography

Over the course of my life, I have had situations that have caused me to question my spirituality, none more so than Shani’s death. Growing up, it was never a question. I was raised in a Catholic family, and I was taught this was God we’re talking about here. I wasn’t about to challenge something that could result in my spending the rest of eternity burning in hell. I believed what I believed, and that was that.

When Shani and I met, we were both searching for a sense of meaning in our lives. As time wore on, we became acutely aware of the soulful connection we shared. Shani’s journey was launched with the death of her mother when she was 21, and mine from my divorce at the age of 22. I never thought I would be a divorced father at the age of 25, and she certainly never could have imagined being motherless with a father in prison at the age of 30.

Healing Energy

Our bodies serve as the spirit’s connection to the material world. Most people believe there is some sort of afterlife and that our souls move on to another place, like heaven, or another dimension, when the body dies. Many people also believe that we possess the ability to connect or communicate with God directly through prayer and meditation and that these actions allow the spirit to move beyond the physical casing of the body. One might say that we possess the ability to quiet our minds and connect directly to the energy that we cannot visibly see.

I have written about how I feel more connected to Shani now in her death than I did when she was here. Being completely stripped of the human emotions that bog us down, the worry and anxiety of daily life, I believe that Shani is in a truly magical state, something far beyond human comprehension, something we can only begin to understand once we die.

Attachment Brings Suffering

What if everything with which you identified yourself in this world was suddenly gone? What if your spouse was murdered, your career evaporated, and your home all disappeared as if into thin air? What if you found yourself so distraught and haunted that you couldn’t sleep? What if you felt as if you had lost your mind? Where would you find peace or solace?

The Spiritual Path

This week has been quite an introspective time for me. Sean has been out of town on vacation, so we haven’t been meeting to write, and I’ve had a lot going on personally. Things seemed to be all over the place. Whenever I find myself emotionally spun like this, I will inevitably find myself standing there, looking up at the sky, asking, “What do you want me to do with this?”

It was the same back on the night of June 2, 2009. While just trying to make it through the night before catching my flight from Fort Lauderdale back to Atlanta, that was the exact question I posed to God.

“What do you me to do with this?”