My posts have been fairly heavy thus far, so to send you off into the weekend, I have decided to share a short, yet humorous anecdote, with you, just to lighten the mood for a moment. For those of you who know my disdain for the lack of culture in most of the South, you should appreciate this funny, little story. Enjoy!
In January of 2004, Shani and I moved from New York City to return to Chattanooga to attend to some family business. We stayed there until August, which is when we finally returned to Atlanta for good.
One night, while we were out, I decided to pull through the drive-thru of a local fast food restaurant in one of the outlying towns near Chattanooga. I was in the mood for a grilled chicken sandwich. Shani had taken up a vegetarian lifestyle at that point, although she would still eat chicken from time to time if nothing else was available. As we pulled up to order, this is the conversation that took place...
“Can I help you?” the girl asked through the speaker.
“Hang on just a second,” I replied.
“You know what you want?” I asked Shani, who was in the passenger seat.
“Ummm….I’ll have a veggie burger,” Shani replied.
“Babe, this isn’t New York. They’re not going to have veggie burgers at McDonald’s in Lookout Valley, Tennessee.”
“Just ask, please.”
“They’re not going to have them. Look at the menu.”
“Just ask, Mike!”
“Fine!”
“Yeah, uh, I’d like a grilled chicken sandwich, a veggie burger and two large Diet Cokes,” I ordered.
My order was met by momentary silence…
“Hello?” I asked.
“Ok,” the girl said with a very southern drawl, “so, you don’t want any meat on your burger?”
I laughed and turned to Shani with a huge grin on my face. “I told you so.”
"Why do you have to be such an asshole?"
She got a chicken sandwich.
I love and miss you, Babe. Thank you for what I can only describe as my “Shani Moments.”
That is so classic Shani! Especially her response! I imagine it to have been followed by one of Shani's little rants about how she should be able to expect to get a veggie burger at any McDonald's, and that the menu should be uniform from one franchise to another, and that she is going to contact the manager, no, she is going to contact McDonald's Corporate and complain about this issue, and perhaps she will start a petition to have veggie burgers added to the menu at all McDonald's locations, and they really should be more considerate to the vegetarian population and the health-conscious, and this is really a matter of public health, to be honest, and maybe she would make a documentary herself about the discrimination against vegetarians and the health-conscious. To which I would have responded, "Shani, you really should write a book." And Shani would have said, "I will! I can do that!"
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