A Picture

I finally started studying for my personal training certification last night. With all of the traveling I’ve been doing, I just haven’t had the motivation to dive in. At the same time, I’m no newbie to this stuff, but I’ve finally made the commitment to knock this thing out. For the first time in 10 years, I am getting back to what drew me to the fitness industry in the first place, the desire to help others. By establishing myself as a trainer again, I am also mobile. Should I decide to relocate, no matter where I go, I can take my business with me. With that, I really can do whatever I choose to do.

As I was discussing a friend’s training program with him this afternoon, I was regurgitating all of the information I absorbed last night and began to feel that spark resurface, that passion I have for helping others experience the feeling of what it is to be healthy and strong, confident and motivated.

I’ve been having a tough time coming up with something to share here the last couple of days. Just processing all of the information from these new adventures has left me somewhat void of ideas. The feelings of independence and wonderment for the future have also been so intoxicating in this space that writing has been something I think I’ve subconsciously wanted to block out. I’ve just wanted to keep going and living.

And during this conversation, it came to me. I’ll write about Shani and the bodybuilding show she did the year before we met. I could also post the picture of Shani posing, affectionately known as the “jaw dropper.” It was the picture that I would go racing to the closet to grab any time the topic of fitness came up in our house. It shows Shani flexing her triceps at The Seminole Classic, an Orlando bodybuilding show in 1997. It was her first and only show, but she took first place in the novice class (of course she did). Whenever I would pull that picture out, jaws would hit the floor. She was perfect in every sense, with her ripped muscles and gorgeous smile on display. That picture is the essence of feminine strength and beauty. I decided that I would post that pic and write about Shani’s passion for physical fitness.

Not today.

I pulled out the bin where I thought I would find it, not thinking twice about what I was about to see. I popped the top and was presented immediately with a tin box. I opened it and my heart sank. There were two bottles of perfume and a hairbrush. I unscrewed the top of the first perfume bottle and sprayed a bit on my wrist. Squatting in front of the bin, I leaned forward to sniff the perfume and exploded. Like one of Pavlov’s dogs, the scent of Shani’s perfume ignited a rush of emotion that left me slumped over and heaving. As I put the perfume back in its place, I noticed a framed picture under the tin. Reaching in, I pulled it out and the flood of tears resumed. It was from a friend’s wedding reception in the fall of 2005. This was the knockout punch. I dropped to a knee, staring at the picture crying.

“Nope,” I thought. “This is it.”

So, here you go. I’ll save the other pic for another day. I don’t think I need to write anything about this one. It speaks for itself.

She was stunning.