In The Company of the Grieving

“When you think you know what to say, you don’t. When you don’t know what to say, you do… NOTHING.”   -Me


On Tuesday, May 25th, I received the news that a younger cousin of mine, my mom’s nephew, had died a tragic death in my hometown of Sterling, IL. My mom has four sisters, and they’re all very close. Their mother, my grandma, passed away in October, just four months after Shani. So now, in losing her nephew, my mom was absolutely devastated, and my immediate concern was for her. In less than a year, she lost her daughter-in-law, her mother, and her nephew, who was also her god-son. I just wondered how much grief one woman could take before cracking.

Anger Management

Yesterday, I woke up in a funk. Actually, I couldn’t tell you the last time I woke up with a totally positive outlook.  I suppose it was June 2, 2009, the morning Shani was killed.

She and I had been arguing the night before about where we were going to live when we moved to South Florida. I wanted to get a place on the water, and she wanted to be a bit further inland. I ended up being the one to bend, finding a condo only about 5 minutes from the beach.  When I awoke the morning after, I sent her a quick text apologizing for the night before.   She responded, “It’s ok babe. I get you.”  She did, too.  She always “got” me.  After that exchange of texts, I went about my day, excited about my new job, the move, and our future in Florida.  Little did I know that she would be dead later on that day.