To Men

I went on a couple of dates this week with the same woman.

I’ve been putting myself out there socially a bit more recently and have been out with a few women prior to this, but this one was different. We have a lot in common and a lot of differences at the same time. Good differences, the kind that complement each other. With all that’s happened in the last year or so, I’ve had enough time to think about the qualities that I’m looking for in a woman, and it just so happens that she has a lot of them. There’s no need to worry. I’m not running off to Vegas, nor am I allowing myself to be vulnerable to the point of having my heart completely trampled on…at least not yet. If anyone has had to learn what it means to “live in the moment” and cherish it for what it is, it’s me, and I’m doing just that. Hell, I could never see this woman again, and I would still be forever grateful for what she has already given me. The beauty of the last few days is that I can now see that I can actually develop feelings for someone again, someone other than Shani, someone very different from Shani. This is good.

Who Am I...now?

Sitting in a coffee shop alone in Austin on a hot Sunday afternoon, I look around and know no one. It was suggested that I would enjoy the vibe at this establishment as it represents some of the true, funky character that permeates this city. Everyone, including all of the customers and staff, seems to have at least one tattoo, and I can pick out at least eight different ethnicities or nationalities among them. It’s a very Bohemian theme, also prevalent in a large percentage of the other businesses I have visited as well.

Who Am I?

Shani and I became an item when I was 25-years-old. How I pulled that off at that point in my life is still beyond me. In looking back, it’s easy to see how little I now resemble who I was back then. Of course, my growth has skyrocketed in the last year because of what I’ve had to deal with. Even before Shani’s death though, neither of us were anything like who we were 10 years before.

When we met in late 1998, I owned and operated a small personal training business in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I’ll never forget the day Shani walked into the gym. Smitten doesn’t even come close to describing my interest in her. At the time, I had completely sworn off dating in order to focus on my business. Well, that was…until Shani walked through the door.